3 Ways to Know If You’re Ready for Divorce

Many people have questions about whether it’s time for divorce, but they often don’t know where to turn when trying to make that decision. While no one else can make that decision for you, a caring, experienced divorce attorney can help you work through your questions and explain each of your options.

At Diamond Divorce Law, we see ourselves as more than attorneys. While we are here to be your guide throughout the legal process, we are also committed to helping you work through the emotional, financial, and logistical processes of divorce.

If we are able to point you in the right direction to save your marriage, we are more than happy to do so. But if divorce is the right option for you, we want to help you make the process as smooth as possible for everyone involved.

This process often starts with understanding the signs that may already be present in your marriage.

5 Common Signs that You Are Ready for Divorce

Toxic Behavior is Present

It’s common for couples to disagree or fight from time to time, but if you find yourself overlooking toxic behavior (like abuse, controlling behavior, or disrespect) or constantly walking on eggshells to avoid “triggering” your spouse, changes need to be made.

If you or your children are in immediate danger, please do not hesitate. Call 911 and protect yourself and your kids. After the immediate danger has passed, call our office immediately, even if it’s after hours. Someone on our team will answer and put you in touch with an attorney as soon as possible. We can help you obtain an Order of Protection and get to safety, but there are legal requirements that must be followed.

If your situation isn’t an emergency but you want to understand your options, please call or email. Our attorneys are happy to listen, answer your questions, and help you create a plan that works for you.

Infidelity

Although some couples do find their way back to each other after infidelity, many marriages simply don’t survive it. The loss of trust is too much to overcome.

 If you find yourself in this position, please know that you’re not alone – and that help is available.

Fighting Over Finances

It is currently estimated that between 20-40% of all divorces stem from financial causes – and while many of these difficulties can be solved, the stress, frustration, and anxiety they bring can destroy a marriage.

Part of our job as a legal team is to help our clients protect their assets and reclaim the life they want to live. To get the advice you need and create a solid plan for the future, contact us – we’re happy to help.

Addictive Behaviors like Substance Abuse or Gambling

As much as you may love your spouse, if they are caught in addictive behaviors and are unwilling to change, you may have to make some tough decisions to protect yourself and your children.

These are not decisions that should be made rashly – our legal team is ready to stand with you and guide you through each step. Over the decades, we’ve seen it all, and we are committed to guiding you through each step.

Absence of Communication or Living a Separate Life

At times, our clients come to us because they have grown apart – they’re simply not at the same place they were when they got married, and they have lost the ability to communicate.

 While we do encourage clients in this position to seek counseling and try to revive communications, it’s not always possible, especially if both spouses aren’t willing to work at it. If you and your spouse decide that divorce is the best option, we understand and we’re here to help you navigate each step.

Divorce Questions to Consider

Once you step back to recognize the signs, it’s time to ask yourself some hard questions. Our free journal will lead you through several more of them, but here are some to consider.

• Have you tried to resolve your differences?
  
  This might sound like a silly question, but it’s often a necessary one. When stress, anxiety, or other emotions are in the mix, open communication can fall by the wayside. If you feel safe doing so, it may be worth opening a dialogue with your spouse. Do they see the same problems, and are they willing to work with you to resolve them?
  
• Have you tried to open the lines of communication and set reasonable boundaries?
  
  This question goes with the first, but both steps are necessary in order to find your way back to each other. If your spouse is willing, it may be worth working toward this point. If not – or if you have already tried – divorce may be the right option for you.
  
•  Is your decision based on emotion or self-reflection?
  
  It isn’t uncommon for at least one spouse to make a decision based on emotion, especially when stress is running high. However, it’s important to take a step back and think through this choice: is it based on a temporary feeling or a carefully considered choice that’s right for you? (If you’re not sure, call us – we’re happy to talk through your options!)
  
• What is your goal for divorce?
  
  This is something many people don’t consider, but it’s an essential part of the process. What will your life look like? How will things be better, and what changes will need to be made? Knowing your goals from the start will help you to make the right choices and stay focused at each step.

Additional Things to Think About

As you have worked through these questions, if you decide that divorce is likely the right choice for you, here are some additional things to consider.

Are you ready for the changes that divorce will bring?

Separating two lives is never easy. Your schedule, time with your kids, and habits will likely change. Your address and finances may change. While some people embrace these types of changes, for other people, they can be very difficult. 

It may help to take some time to make a vision board or otherwise visualize what your life could look like. Are those changes something that you’re ready for?

How will divorce affect your children? Are you ready to be their support system?

Divorce will affect your children, though it will affect every child differently. Their age and personality will figure greatly into the equation, but in many ways, having you as a support system will make the biggest difference. 

This doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your own growth and healing, but considering what your children will need up front will help you to more easily navigate your divorce.

Which experts will you seek out to guide you through the process?

Over the past 40+ years, we have had the opportunity to work with thousands of families in McHenry, Lake, and Kane Counties – and one thing that we have found to be true, every time, is that having the right professionals on your team will make the process much easier to navigate.

Of course, we recommend having a strong legal team who is dedicated to helping you reclaim your life. You’ll need experts who can not only walk you through each legal step and simplify that side of things, but also who can refer you to other local experts. 

At Diamond Divorce Law, we’re committed to being your family’s lawyer. We see you as a person, not a case number – and when you call, you’ll get a real person on the other end of the line. And when you need professionals in other areas, we have several that we have carefully vetted and can confidently refer you to.

What Are My Next Steps?

When you’re ready to get your questions answered and create a plan forward, call our office at (815) 322-8403. A friendly voice will answer, take your information, and get you scheduled with one of our experienced, compassionate attorneys.

Please note that talking with an attorney does not necessarily mean that you’re ready to file – it means that you have questions and want to be prepared. 

If you do decide to move forward with a divorce, our legal team is ready to assist you in any way we can, from creating your legal strategy and action plan to walking you through each step and helping you reclaim your life.

DISCLAIMER: Any information contained herein is solely for informational purposes and is only applicable in the state of Illinois.  While it is important that you educate yourself, nothing herein should be construed as legal advice or create an attorney-client relationship. For specific questions, we urge you to contact a local attorney for advice pertaining to your specific legal needs.