Divorce can be a painful or even traumatic experience for every member of the household.
After a marriage has ended, there will be many firsts for those involved. You need to know how to approach holidays after divorce, and how to make the most of the days ahead.
If you happen to be in the unfortunate circumstance where your spouse is uncooperative and inflexible with matters relating to you and your children, you will need to dot the I’s on your parenting plans. These are usually Parentage Agreements (Allocation Agreements) which are enforceable by court order.
If you anticipate this type of a problem you need to plan ahead. Although you may think you have an emergency situation, most of the courts will not consider these types of matters as emergencies.
At Diamond Divorce, we’ve been helping families through divorce in McHenry for decades. Hopefully you will be in a situation where both parties put the interests of their children first. In this blog, we offer10 tips for your first holiday after a divorce.
1. Have patience
Being patient is very important, and holidays can be hectic even when things are going smoothly. Holidays are often overwhelming, and divorce can add to the emotions, so scheduling a non-stop array of holiday activities and events can be too much to handle.
Be patient and take things on slowly, making sure you can slow down to enjoy the holidays and your time with your loved ones. Remember the holiday gatherings are new and different for everyone after a divorce, so by being patient you can make things more enjoyable for everyone.
2. Flexibility is key
Your holiday celebrations do not have to occur on a specific day. Instead, plan your holiday in advance. Christmas does not have to occur on December 25th and Thanksgiving does not have to be on the fourth Thursday of November.
Set a date that works best for your schedule and your stress level and allows you to spend time with the people you love the most.
3. Holidays are not about the stuff, but instead, about time and attention
Gift-giving and budgets often change after divorce, so focus on spending time and enjoying the company of others during the holidays rather than spending a fortune on gifts that may even be forgotten by next year.
4. Take the time to focus on others
While you feel like you have gone through tough times with your divorce, remember there are others going through difficult times, as well. If you can, take some time to volunteer or focus some of your energy on those who are less fortunate than you.
5. Don’t take the joy out of the holidays.
While divorce is stressful and can be upsetting, go ahead and do your best to let yourself enjoy the holidays. If you start to feel the joy of the season, go with the flow then focus on the happiness rather than your stresses and struggles.
6. Reach out to loved ones.
If you need extra help to get your holidays planned and feeling more festive, be sure to let someone know. Your loved ones are sure to be understanding and willing to help, but they cannot help until you let them know what you need.
7. Start new traditions.
Things change after divorce, and while some things are uncomfortable, others can end up being fun. Change can be good, so start a new tradition to keep things fun and memorable.
8. Let go of the guilt.
Often, newly divorced parents feel guilty about how the children’s holidays will differ. Just because things are different doesn’t mean it will feel bad forever. Leave the guilt behind and embrace the moment and get your holidays underway.
9. Do your best to get along with your ex-spouse for the good of your children.
That way, you can all make the most of the holidays and the children can spend time with both parents, as well as grandparents and other loved ones.
10. Simplify things, but hold tight to what’s important to you.
While doing everything you typically do during the holidays might be too much, focus on what you love the most and try to stick with those traditions and/or those loved ones as much as possible. You’ve been through a lot, after all, and you deserve some comfort this holiday season.
Contact an Experienced McHenry Divorce Attorney
If a divorce is inevitable, make sure you have the legal representation that you need. Diamond Divorce Law has experienced divorce attorneys who will work to ensure your family gets the resolution needed throughout a divorce. We address all kinds of marital issues, including custody matters and property division. Call today for an initial consultation regarding your divorce.
DISCLAIMER: Any information contained herein is solely for informational purposes. While it is important that you educate yourself, nothing herein should be construed as legal advice or create an attorney-client relationship. For specific questions, I always urge you to contact a local attorney for advice pertaining to your specific legal needs.